Top 3 Audition Fails

Sometimes I get to audition for really cool things. New television shows, commercials, indie films, and the highlight so far, Modern Family!

I just turned 3 in LA years, and I was thinking of all the auditions I've gone on so far. Because they come and go so often, I try my absolute hardest to let the experiences, good or bad, stay in the room. Easier said than done! If it's a good audition, you leave feeling awesome and then if you don't get it (for whatever reason, it could literally be that you're brunette and they wanted blonde) you second guess how "awesome" you are. If it goes badly, you're spending the next 48 hours crying to your loyal confidantes, Ben and Jerry.

But some auditions can be so awkward, uncomfortable, and downright WTF that a teeny tiny voice in your head asks, "This is what you moved to LA for, you idiot?"

Here are my top 3 worst auditions. In retrospect I find them funny,  and Dr. Randy Pausch, who wrote my favorite book, The Last Lecture, says, "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted." Let me tell you, these were definitely some learning experiences!

3. Hoop Dreams: For commercial auditions, most of them have no script so you don't really know what you're going to be doing until you get there. For this NBA promo, I drove about 1.5-2 hours in stand-still traffic during rush hour. When I get there, the guy says, "Cool, so you're going to pick up that hula hoop and just hula for 15 seconds." I ask, "Okay, do you want me to say anything...?" The answer was no. So, I hula hooped. For 15 seconds. And he said, "Thanks." And I left. And drove back another hour and a half. I spent roughly 3 and a half hours in my car (plus the time I took to get ready) for a 15 second hula hoop session. UGHHH is an understatement. SKYPE me next time.

2. Video Ho: One of my very first auditions was for this up and coming R&B group who needed the quintessential video girls. Because I was new to LA and excited to have an audition, I didn't catch the blaring warning signs whereas now, I'd be like HELLL NAW. I get there, and it's at an apartment. "Never ever ever go into someone's apartment!" said no one to me. All the girls were in club clothes of course, which makes me super uncomfortable because that's not my style. When it's my turn to go in, it's an empty room with 6 guys behind a table and I was to dance "seductively" for 3 minutes. While they watched. Do you know how long 3 minutes is?! I think after 30 seconds you know if someone can dance or not, but noooo, I had to dance to a full song. Longest 3 minutes of my life. When I left, one of the guys runs out and asked me for my number. UNPROFESSIONAL MUCH?! I very nicely said, "Well, it's on my resume," and then burst into tears when I got to my car. I ended up getting a part but declined. It just wasn't worth the money. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Btw, this is how I get down.

3. Say whaaa: I had an audition for Prius, and our task was to pretend we were Prius owners and give a reason why we loved our car. Easy enough, right? I don't know much about cars but I did remember that Prius's are a pretty quiet ride. So I thought, awesome, I'll talk about that! Then for some reason, unbeknownst to me,  I said, "I love my Toyota Prius because it's such a quiet ride, I can stalk my ex-boyfriend and he never finds out!" .............. WHAT?! WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?! *Cue awkward and confused look from the room. Definitely did not get the part. Prius does not want crazy psycho girlfriends representing their company,  and I don't blame them.

Awkward.

A toast, to more successful auditions, and more experiences!