Being UNjealous

We all get jealous at one point or another - it's human nature.

I speak for myself and the industry I work in, sometimes it can be very difficult to watch other people succeed while you sit and wonder if and when you will also achieve your goals. In the back of our minds, we all know that different doors open for different people at different times. But even if we know it, do we believe it? Do we accept it? Do we embrace it? That is the challenge.

"What does he or she have that I don't? Why can't I do that? I'm just as good, if not better," are thoughts projected at siblings, friends, colleagues, even strangers!! I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "Pssh. I mean, they were aiiiiight, it wasn't like amazing."

Why am I being such a hater?!

Admittedly, there was a point in my life a few years ago when I let my jealousy get the best of me. I was beating myself up for every little thing and in turn projecting that resentment, self-hatred, -whatever negative word you want to use - onto others.

Then I read this quote and it really, really, really struck a chord with me.

"Jealousy is nothing but fear that you too will not achieve the goals you've set out for yourself."

Hmm. Now, where in that quote does it say anything about other people?

Nowhere.

Lemme break it down. Jealousy is FEAR. That YOU. Won't achieve YOUR goals. Your journey, your path, your experiences, your successes, your failures...do not interfere with anyone else's and vice versa. Someone else's outcomes doesn't take away the chances of yours. Isn't that a relief?

The way I like to envision it now is, hundreds of mountains next to each other. And you can see others climbing their mountains. And you might say, "Hey his mountain seems easier to climb, or her mountain is not as high as mine." But that's their mountain. And if you spend time focusing on their climb, they will only keep climbing higher, and where will you have gotten? We aren't climbing one giant mountain together. This isn't a competition, no need to scramble to the top. Everyone has a unique purpose and we can all co-exist, we can all achieve individual success together.

I read an article in Psychology Today recently that said, "The happiest people are the ones who are present when things go right for others - and whose own wins are regularly celebrated by their friends as well. What is precious and scarce is people who can truly share in others' joy and gains without envy."

So the next time a colleague shares great news on Facebook, try celebratin' instead of hatin'! I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still sip on haterade, some days more than others, but lifting others up is way better than putting them - or worse, yourself - down.

And besides, haterade leaves a nasty aftertaste. I'd rather have a smoothie.