My One Regret.

"Do you have any regrets?" is one serious topic of discussion. 

I like to think that I don't have any, because I feel like life plays out the way it's supposed to. And if I were to go back and change something, maybe I wouldn't be exactly where I am right now, attempting to eat cereal in bed in the dark. If I were to decide on something, I do wish I had studied abroad in college. I was going to study in Barcelona for a semester then opted to graduate early instead, which in turn led to subsequent events that brought me to LA.

So, no regrets. 

Well, okay. I do have one. Otherwise this would be a very short and anticlimactic post.

I've never done AA but isn't there a step where you apologize to people you've wronged in the past? Well, I've tried to think of people I would apologize to if I ever got the chance, and I could only think of one person. So, either I'm super saintly kind like Mother Theresa or I'm delusional and feel I'm right in 99% of situations and probably find a way to turn it around on the other person.

"I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you."

(BTW, the list of people I feel should apologize to me was way longer than one)

So, because I could only think of one person, I will apologize publicly and clear my conscience of any wrong doings. 

My public apology to Justin B:

It was a rainy day in the 1st grade. Because it was rainy, we did not have recess that day. Instead, they locked up all the 1st and 2nd graders in a windowless, airless room in the library and popped in a VHS copy of How To Eat Fried Worms. It was chili cheese hot dog day at lunch. Now, as a 25 year old with a very sensitive stomach, I wish I could go back in time and tell 7 year old me, "No! Don't eat that, kid! Always opt for the fruit cup!" 

All the cool 2nd graders didn't pay attention to the movie and just sat against the back wall and talked with their friends. I was not a 2nd grader and neither was I cool.

In fact, this is what I looked like in the first grade:

So, I sat in the very front of the room, about 2 feet away from the television. In retrospect, I probably assumed we'd have a post pop quiz that I wanted to make sure I'd ace. But with glasses that big, why would I need to sit that close in the first place?!

The only other person who decided to sit in front of the TV was Justin B. Poor Justin B.

As I mentioned, twas chili cheese hot dog day. And there was just something about that combination that wasn't sitting well with my tummy. I tried my hardest to keep my shit together (pun definitely intended) but alas, I let out a fart so loud you wouldn't believe it came out of my pint-size frame.

Time froze. I thought, "Maybe no one heard." Well, if they didn't hear it, the most certainly smelled it. The smell was so bad. SO BAD, that (and I swear this is true) the teachers turned off the movie and said we had to evacuate the room. 

So, in my social-suicide panic, I yelled out, "EW! JUSTIN!!!!" And because I am a natural-born leader, everyone yelled out, "EW! JUSTIN!!!!!" and laughed at the poor bastard. 

For days, months, that entire year, Justin could not live it down. He was the butt of every joke. Kids would hold their noses or make fart noises by putting their mouth in their elbow pit every time he walked into the classroom. As years passed, someone would randomly laugh and say, "Oh my God, remember when Justin farted and it smelled like death and we almost died?" and I'd laugh and say, "Totally!"

But it was me who caused near death by gas! Only Justin and I knew the truth. And he never sold me out. 

I never saw him again after Elementary school. I can only imagine he moved away to start fresh and leave his troubled past behind him. I recently tried searching for him on Facebook but couldn't find him. He probably has me blocked for life. Or, I can't find him because I don't remember the rest of his last name.

So, Justin B., I am sorry I blamed my first-grade fart on you. That was not right. I should have owned up to it right then and there. You did not deserve the ridicule or taunting from mean kids. I want you to know I did feel guilty, but didn't find it logical to let everyone know the truth after it'd happened. And I desperately wanted to be liked by the cool kids. 

It was an unfair occurrence that you happened to be the only kid sitting right next to me. Did you also think there'd be a pop quiz? Was How to Eat Fried Worms your favorite movie? That's besides the point. 

I hope your life turned out okay. And I'm really sorry.

Regretfully,

Sara Amini

I feel much better. 

 

And the award goes to...ME!

I got nominated for a Liebster Award!!

I'm almost 100% sure it's like a Nobel Peace Prize for the blog world.

I actually have no idea what this means, but it's still cool. "Thanks to Nikki at Bourgie Chronicles who is an avid reader and supporter of my blog and nominated me!" - my thank you speech. 

So I guess when you're nominated you're supposed to list 10 facts about yourself and answer 10 questions, so here goes:

FACTS:

1. I'm left handed. So are my mama and grandma.

2. I've never owned a pet. But for the longest time in Elementary School I made up a cat named Moonlight then when friends would come over I'd say she ran away. Every time.

3. I won 26K on a game show. See: Who Wants To Be America's Next Top Slumdog Millionaire. 

4. I impulsively bought Lasik surgery on Groupon. Thankfully, it worked out and I can see.

5. I graduated Summa Cum Laude with two degrees. Like a boss bitch.

6. I have a very strong fear of roaches. It's phobia status. I hyperventilate and stuff.

7. I broke my foot in high school tripping over my untied shoelace. Weak bones, apparently.

8. I applied to The Disney Store 8 times before they hired me. PERSEVERANCE!! 

9. I'm both the oldest and shortest of three siblings. I'm almost 5'3, my brother is 6 ft.

10. I have a food intolerance to bananas. Which makes ordering smoothies difficult and sad.

Questions for Nominees:

1. Whats your least favorite season and why? 

This is hard for me to answer...I like Spring because of flowers. I like Summer because it makes me think of frozen yogurt. I like fall because of the leaves changing on trees and my birthday. I like winter because of the holidays. So, I guess I'll go with summer as my least favorite because I eat frozen yogurt year-round.

2. Are you superstitious?

Yes and no. I don't kill spiders because my mom says in Colombia, they're good luck. I pick up pennies but that's more because I'm broke. The whole black cats, ladders, Friday the 13th thing doesn't phase me. I kind of get into Mercury retrograde. My mom makes me eat 12 grapes on New Years, and she says bird poop on you is a sign of money to come.....sometimes I don't know what that lady is talking about.

3. What was your favorite cartoon growing up?

TWO  STUPID DOGS! Also, Arthur. And does Supermarket Sweep count? That show was my 10 year old jam.

4. How would you describe your personal style?

I don't know what my style is. I like to wear dresses and cloche (bell) hats. So it's definitely 20s inspired. I'm almost always wearing a hat.  I own like 15 hats. I'm not particularly trendy or flashy...I like sweaters? Clearly I'm super sexy.

5. If you could take a vacation right now anywhere in the world where would you go?

PARIS! Duh. Bonjour mon ami! I want to eat croissants and ride a bike with a little dog and baguette in my basket! Also, with my plethora of hats, I'd fit right in with the locals. 

6. What has been your greatest achievement in life so far?

Moving to LA and pursuing my dream is an achievement in itself. Awwwwww. Also, I make pretty good cake pops.

7. What are your favorite smells?

This is going to sound weird unless you've been to my house. But the smell of fresh dill, it reminds me of my parents' house. Also, the smell of jasmine. Not my sister, the flower. 

8. Do you prefer to text or to call?

TEXT! Yuck I hate talking on the phone, it's very hard for me to multitask when I have a phone stuck on my ear.

9. What is your favorite thing that you own?

I have a letter that my mother wrote me the day I was born. She gave it to me when I turned 18. It's amazing and makes me cry every time I read it. I keep it next to my bed.

10. If you could have any super power, what would it be?

The ability to eat whatever the fuck I want and not gain weight. 

Something Smells Funky

The last 18 hours or so I've been in a funk. I've even sat at the computer the last hour just staring at this screen, not knowing what to say.

It's weird how some things - minute, insignificant, trivial, BULLSHIT things, can have such an effect on you.

I got a parking ticket yesterday. I parked on a street I always park on, and that street has always been free. So sometime between last week and yesterday, I guess a "No Parking After 6pm" sign was put up. Obviously I didn't check for the sign when I parked because, like I said, I always park there.

But, of course, I'm walking back to my car after class, get to my car around 6:10. There's a ticket for 68 dollars sitting there. The parking patrol guy had just finished giving me a ticket because he was currently working on the car behind me.

I wanted to curse him out, yell at him, get all crazy latin up in his face, but...I couldn't. I mean, he's got a fucking shit job, but it's his job right? Those guys have no sympathy. Why waste my time, it wasn't going to make him un-ticket me. I just told myself, "Well, it's already done with so let it go."

But for some reason, I could not let it go. I drove to a workshop and let the tension and frustration sit in me, affecting my mood during the class and affecting my performance. Of course, that put me in an even worse mood when I got home.

In the grand scheme of things, a parking ticket is not something you'll remember a year, or even a month from now. It's a hiccup. A nuisance. But after getting my keys stolen last weekend ("Worst Day Ever") this was just icing on a very disgusting cake. Like....cottage cheese icing on a crab cake. (These are both things I hate if you didn't understand where that combination was coming from.)

When it rains, it pours, right? I guess I'm the old man snoring in this scenario.

The ticket is already paid for, today is a new day, yet I'm still feeling down. I know I have the choice to let this continue to affect me negatively, and if that's the case, why am I choosing to feel miserable?

Why am I throwing myself a pity party? It's an awfully boring and tragic party of one. No balloons or face painting, just this stupid cottage cheese crab cake. WHO BROUGHT THAT?! Oh, me.

Today's post serves a more selfish purpose, I needed to have a little wrant (A written rant). To rub the funk off. To get all this feeling-like-crap-feeling out of the way so I can have the rest of my day to do more productive and positive things. And thanks to this article I read this morning, 10 Little Things That Steal Your Happiness, I remember this quote: "You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude towards what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you."

I can very easily get back into bed and mope for the rest of the day. OR I can do things that I know put me in a better mood:

Sara's Instamood List:
I can go hiking.
I can ride my bike.
I can bake.
I can buy flowers.
I can watch TV. I need to finish Orange Is The New Black anyway cuz that show is the shiiiiz.
I can read. I'm in the middle of two great books right now.
I can color in my coloring book. Yes, I have one. But it's an adult Andy Warhol one so suck it!

So, my mission for the rest of day is to do at least half of these things. Because a parking ticket is a nothing more than a parking ticket. The universe isn't conspiring against me.

I totally understand that some days aren't your best and we all can't be at 100% 24-7. If we were, we wouldn't be human. We'd be weird robot-alien-creatures. So give yourself the time to be down and dwell if that's what you need. Take the rest of the day off, two days if you really need. But come day three, make a list of things that you know put you in a great mood, AND GO DO THEM.

Because if you allow yourself to sit in negativity for too long, it becomes masturbatory and you're just perpetuating a woe-is-me mentality that serves no good. And ain't nobody got time for that!

So, I'm off to go take a "happy shower" and clean off this funk. Because I stink! 

Who Wants to be America's Next Top Slumdog Millionaire

So..here's a cool fact about me. Not many people know this...

I mean actually only like 10 people know this.

BUT.....

A month after I moved to LA, I won 26K on a game show!!

Twas one of the coolest experiences I've had so far. Top 3 alongside working with Betty White and going to a symphony that only played Disney music.

I didn't talk about it much because for a while legally I wasn't even allowed to talk about it, until the show aired, and by that point it was almost a year later and if I hadn't already "secretly" told you, then I wasn't going to tell you all of a sudden. That would be weird, right?

Me: "Hey, are you going to finish your pizza? By the way, 9 months ago I won a game show."
Friend I'm obvi not that close to: "You DID WHAT?! Why are you just now telling me this?!?"
Me: "I don't know......"

I know what you're wondering! Did I ever get that pizza?

Okay, I know what you're REALLY wondering. How did I win a game show?!

I will tell you.

It was literally a month after I moved to LA, my acting teacher told our class that his casting director friend was casting a game show and needed some actors to pretend they weren't actors and go on the show. So I thought, meh, why not. Sounds fun. So I went to the audition, and there were some actors there and there were also some real people and basically producers watched us play trivia for an hour and tried to gauge how enthusiastic and entertaining we'd be if we were on the show. So I put on my best peppy cheerleader face and got a callback, which led to getting a slot on one of the show's episodes.

Two days before my designated shoot day, I wrecked my rental car. My car wasn't here yet and I needed a way to get around. So, dealt with the stress of that day and got a new rental. Next day, eating lunch by myself at a cafe when I see the new rental car being towed away. Apparently I didn't read the "Can park anytime Mon-Fri" with the very tiny font underneath "Except Wednesday at 4."

Guess what day and time it was? Yep.

So after forking over quite a bit of money in 48 hours, I had a breakdown in the (second) rental car after I got it back and thought that LA was telling me to go home, and told myself I needed a sign to reassure me I'd made the right decision in moving.

Morning of game, have to be there at 6am. Wake up and decide I'm going to ditch. It was too early!

THE END!

....just kidding. I totally went.

So the way the game works, it's blackjack meets trivia. I don't know shit about blackjack but I'm decent at knowing rando facts. And because they were shooting 6 episodes in one day, I just sat in the audience for the first few games and watched how the game was played. Let me tell you, I didn't know one single trivia answer. Not one. Maybe one, but defintiely not two. They were so hard and no one was winning and I told myself, "Well, you're screwed."

Then it was time for my "episode" to shoot. I got on stage with the two other contestants, one of whom I let borrow my shirt (in retrospect this was probably good karma points for me) and the game began.

Everyone has seen Slumdog Millionaire, right? How he knows all the answers to the questions because he was meant to know those answers? Because they had just revealed themselves to him in his life?

Well, that was me! Somehow, somehow, I knew the answers to all the questions. It's freaky, actually. I mean, they asked an Oscars question, a Friends question, a DESSERT question, it was like "We're going to just call this episode, the Sara Amini Favorites Show."

Remember how I said I was decent at trivia but didn't know shit about blackjack? So I was killing at trivia but wasn't so good at blackjack. Once one contestant was knocked out and it was down to me and borrowed-shirt girl, she had just gotten 20 and froze. So in BlackJack, the goal is to try to get to 21, right? So, this girl was at 20. And I was at 17. If I got anything less than a 4 I'd lose because she'd beat me in points. If I got anything over a 4, I'd lose because I got over 21.

They were drawing my card when I said silently, "God if I'm supposed to do this, make it happen."

I got a 4.

I can't explain the feeling. The audience went bonkers, I was in shock. Everything felt all slow-motiony. There were 9 other numbers or 4 face cards I could have gotten instead, but I got a 4.

THAT.SHIT.CRAY.

That money helped me keep going that first year when I subsequently got hit while driving and had my car totaled, couldn't find a steady job, and wasn't getting anywhere with acting. It gave me a little security blanket in a city that I wasn't able to call home yet. I will never forget how hard the first year living in LA was and how that day made that year worthwhile.

Only like two people have recognized me from the show and asked me about it, I guess not too many people watch GSN? I sent my only dvd copy to my mother who dropped it on the floor and broke it so I can't even watch it again.

I find moments like these don't come when we want them but when we need them the most. So keep working hard, even when you feel like you can't work any harder, work as hard as you fucking can because you never know when you're going to draw that lucky card.

And brush up on your trivia, it also might come in handy.

*If you're reading this and you're a big Hollywood producer who was inspired by my story and would like to make my biopic, Slumdog Millionaire 2, all I ask is that Paul Rudd play the game show host. I really think he'd be great.

How (NOT) to Act in Front of Famous People

My friends from back home often ask me, "Do you ever see any celebrities? Do you, like hang out with famous people?"

Yes, sometimes. And no, definitely no.

I don't know that I'm "ready" to hang out with famous people. Judging by the few celebrities I've come into contact with and my subsequent actions, I think it's safe to say I need a little bit more time...

Alec Baldwin: I saw Alec ( HELLO, 30 ROCK?!) at Whole Foods and we made eye contact and he smiled and nodded his head. It took me a second to register that "that silver foxy old guy" was Alec fucking Baldwin and then I couldn't stop thinking about it. I immediately shut down my table (Did I mention I give samples at Whole Foods?) and perused the aisles looking to hopefully, "randomly run into his cart with my body" but alas, he was already checking out when I found him. So, my logic was to stand behind a pole and stare at him while he checked out. He was conversing with the cashier and they shared a laugh, and I laughed along for two reasons: 1 - I wanted to pretend like I was in on the joke, and 2 - in case he caught my stare it's less creepy (in my opinion) if I'm smile/laughing than if I was just silently staring behind a pole 10 feet away. Also, as soon as he left the store I tweeted at him. I got no reply.

Me laughing along.

Tina Fey: Guys, TINA. FEY. My idol. Everyone who even remotely knows me know how much I love this woman. I met her at a book signing of Bossypants. I couldn't figure out what to say to her because it had to be perfect, so I kept letting people cut me in line. I mean, I couldn't say what everyone else was saying, right?! "I love you. You're amazing. You're my idol!" I had to stand out! But the security guard caught on to my line skipping schemes and said, "Baby, you best get up there I'm shutting down this line in 10 minutes," and soon, it was my turn. I gave her my book and said, in my most I-got-this voice, "I totally skipped class at Second City tonight for this." And she laughed and said, "Yeah?" And then I laughed and said, "Yeah." And then there was an awkward pause because I forgot to plan anything else to say. So I said, "I love you. You're amazing. You're my idol!" And that was the end of meeting Tina Fey.

You = awesome.

Rob Lowe: Rob Lowe was on my flight to Hawaii and was sitting about 2 rows ahead of Alex and me. I'm an avid Parks and Rec fan so I immediately tweeted, "Rob Lowe is LITERALLY on my flight to Hawaii." I, of course, went to the bathroom way more than I needed to on the plane, and noticed he was reading Great Gatsby. WELL, I WAS ALSO READING GREAT GATSBY!! I had a couple of plans on how to start up a conversation that I ran by Alex, all of which he disapproved of. Dropping my book in front of him on the way to the bathroom for the 17th time, throwing macadamia nuts at him, and also throwing my book at him. Needless to say, we never did speak. But, let me tell you ladies, the back of his head is super handsome.

Not a good plan.

Sara Bareilles: Saw Sara in concert at a very small venue in Houston when she had released her first album and was just starting to gain popularity. She was signing CDs and I was eager to meet her so I ran to the front of the line. While she was signing my CD I said, "My name is Sara, too!" And she replied, "That's awesome, nice to meet you!" And I, like word vomit, said, "And it's spelled the same. Aka we're soulmates!" Cue pause. Cue awkward laugh. Cue, "Okay..well..cool." As if I hadn't already put my foot in my mouth, I went home that night and sent her a personal message on Myspace. Subject line: Concert tonight - Soulmate! "Hi Sara! Thanks so much for coming to Houston. I didn't mean to freak you out, I don't think we are actually soulmates. Just name soulmates! Come back soon!!!" Yikes. I wouldn't be surprised if she never came back to Houston.

Her reaction.

Halle Berry: Definitely did not even make eye contact. I just stared around her. She's TOO pretty.

Naomi Watts: I just smiled and stared at her son, which in retrospect, is really weird. But she was in front of me in line, and she seems really really really really nice!

Megan Fox: See: Halle Berry.

Go away, Sara.

Tia Mowry: I loved, I mean LOVED, Sister Sister growing up. Tia and Tamara were my girls. So naturally, when I saw Tia Mowry while I was working I thought, "This is your chance. Tell her how inspiring she was to you as a kid, tell her you watched that show daily and think she's crazy hilarious." So, in my smallest squeakiest voice, I said, "Would you like a sample?" To which she smiled and kept walking and my bonding moment was gone.

What I wanted to do.

What I did instead.

"But celebrities are just like you!" Yes, technically they are people. But they aren't just like me, so until I'm one of them, I'm not one of them. So in the meantime I'll work on getting my shit together in front of them.

And I really, sincerely hope that when I become famous some awkward quirky girl with all the best intentions in the world sees me out and about in public and decides to stare at me from afar, refusing to make eye contact because she thinks, "Sara Amini is TOO pretty."

"Worst Day Ever"

Thought I'd be productive and write from the Toyota dealership this morning since I have to be here from 8-11am. No, it's not on one of those boring routine checkups. I actually wish it were. 

I'm at Toyota because someone stole my keys this weekend so I have to get my entire car system reprogrammed. Yep.

I was carrying in multiple bags of groceries Saturday and, admittedly, left my keys in the door. Less than an hour later I'm leaving again and can't find my keys. I open the door and find my apartment key still in the lock and all my other keys -- car keys, mailbox key, gym key, and gate clicker to get in the apartments -- gone. 

WHO DOES THAT? Who takes someone's keys?! I feel like it's Courtesy 101 to knock on someone's door and let them know they left their keys hanging. Clearly, I didn't do it on purpose. I had too much in my hands and too much on my mind. Or if you don't feel like interacting with people, LEAVE THE KEYS THERE. But do not take the time to take off all the keys on my keyring and be so considerate to leave my apartment key in the door. 

So instead of having an easy Saturday, I had to move my car out of the parking garage (because they could have easily found it) and park at another complex all weekend and continue to walk back and forth to my apartment. I had to wait until someone came into the building before I could even get in to my complex because I had no gate clicker. I couldn't check the mail. Thankfully I had a spare car key otherwise I would have been even more screwed. It cost me 150 to change the mailbox key, 130 for a garage clicker, and Toyota is 300 for reprogramming the vehicle.

Finally had a breakdown about it that night. Got home from work at midnight, parked my car down the road, walked to my complex alone that late, and waited outside the building until someone drove in so I could get in. By the time I got to my door, I was an exhausted heap of frustration and anxiety.

Then, I look on CNN and see that Zimmerman was charged not guilty. And read that Cory Montieth was found dead in his hotel room.  And remembered that my own boyfriend is back home dealing with a sick father. 

Even though shitty things happen, there is always, always someone who is going through much worse. Yes, getting keys stolen is extremely stressful, I've had to drop hundreds of unanticipated dollars I don't readily have in the last 48 hours. And I've been paranoid walking by neighbors. 

But in Florida, a mother and a father are dealing with the tragedy of their son's wrongful death. In 2013,  racism is still very much alive and breathing. A girl, celebrity or not, is trying to wrap her head around the too-soon death of her soon to be fiancé. Yes, Lea Michele and Cory Montieth were engaged. I don't care if she's a celebrity, she's a person, and woman to woman, my heart hurts for her loss. My boyfriend is spending his nights beside his father in the hospital. There are countless of other stories in the news as well as the thousands that go unreported daily. 

So, things I am thankful for from this weekend's experience:

1. They didn't take the apartment key. They easily could have. They could have damn near robbed me. I was actually in the shower when all this took place -- one try at unlocking the door, and I would have been home alone with them. For their decision to leave the key, I am thankful. Not to them, they're a piece of shit, I mean I'm thankful to the universe. 

2. I found a spare car key in an old shoe box. Toyota initially quoted me at 600 dollars, but because I found a spare key last night, I didn't have to pay for a new key as well and it dropped to 300. 

3. I had friends who let me keep my car in their gated complex for the weekend so it'd be safe, friends who reassured me it was an accident and not to blame myself, and to let them know if I needed anything. The first thing that both my parents and Alex asked when I told them what happened was, "Well, are you okay?" As pissed as I was for the costs of all the new keys, everyone who loves me made me realize I am more valuable than those things. 

I end with this quote that made me feel better when I was in the middle of it all and wondering how I was going to pay for everything.

"When things go wrong as they sometimes will;

when the road you're trudging seems all uphill;

when the funds are low, and the debts are high

and you want to smile, but have to sigh;

when care is pressing you down a bit-

rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;

the silver tint of the clouds of doubt;

and you can never tell how close you are

it may be near when it seems so far;

so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-

it's when things go wrong that you must not quit."

- Author Unknown 

I'm not trying to be a debbie downer. Usually I'm into more bubbly and self-depricating posts. But, sometimes, your "worst day ever" is a day someone else would gladly trade with you. So acknowledge your shitty day, hell have a meltdown if you want to, then remember it could always be worse. And say a little prayer of light and love for your brothers and sisters who are experiencing their worst day ever, too. I guarantee it will make you feel at least a little better. That, and some dark chocolate, of course.

Top 3 Audition Fails

Sometimes I get to audition for really cool things. New television shows, commercials, indie films, and the highlight so far, Modern Family!

I just turned 3 in LA years, and I was thinking of all the auditions I've gone on so far. Because they come and go so often, I try my absolute hardest to let the experiences, good or bad, stay in the room. Easier said than done! If it's a good audition, you leave feeling awesome and then if you don't get it (for whatever reason, it could literally be that you're brunette and they wanted blonde) you second guess how "awesome" you are. If it goes badly, you're spending the next 48 hours crying to your loyal confidantes, Ben and Jerry.

But some auditions can be so awkward, uncomfortable, and downright WTF that a teeny tiny voice in your head asks, "This is what you moved to LA for, you idiot?"

Here are my top 3 worst auditions. In retrospect I find them funny,  and Dr. Randy Pausch, who wrote my favorite book, The Last Lecture, says, "Experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted." Let me tell you, these were definitely some learning experiences!

3. Hoop Dreams: For commercial auditions, most of them have no script so you don't really know what you're going to be doing until you get there. For this NBA promo, I drove about 1.5-2 hours in stand-still traffic during rush hour. When I get there, the guy says, "Cool, so you're going to pick up that hula hoop and just hula for 15 seconds." I ask, "Okay, do you want me to say anything...?" The answer was no. So, I hula hooped. For 15 seconds. And he said, "Thanks." And I left. And drove back another hour and a half. I spent roughly 3 and a half hours in my car (plus the time I took to get ready) for a 15 second hula hoop session. UGHHH is an understatement. SKYPE me next time.

2. Video Ho: One of my very first auditions was for this up and coming R&B group who needed the quintessential video girls. Because I was new to LA and excited to have an audition, I didn't catch the blaring warning signs whereas now, I'd be like HELLL NAW. I get there, and it's at an apartment. "Never ever ever go into someone's apartment!" said no one to me. All the girls were in club clothes of course, which makes me super uncomfortable because that's not my style. When it's my turn to go in, it's an empty room with 6 guys behind a table and I was to dance "seductively" for 3 minutes. While they watched. Do you know how long 3 minutes is?! I think after 30 seconds you know if someone can dance or not, but noooo, I had to dance to a full song. Longest 3 minutes of my life. When I left, one of the guys runs out and asked me for my number. UNPROFESSIONAL MUCH?! I very nicely said, "Well, it's on my resume," and then burst into tears when I got to my car. I ended up getting a part but declined. It just wasn't worth the money. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Btw, this is how I get down.

3. Say whaaa: I had an audition for Prius, and our task was to pretend we were Prius owners and give a reason why we loved our car. Easy enough, right? I don't know much about cars but I did remember that Prius's are a pretty quiet ride. So I thought, awesome, I'll talk about that! Then for some reason, unbeknownst to me,  I said, "I love my Toyota Prius because it's such a quiet ride, I can stalk my ex-boyfriend and he never finds out!" .............. WHAT?! WHERE DID THAT EVEN COME FROM?! *Cue awkward and confused look from the room. Definitely did not get the part. Prius does not want crazy psycho girlfriends representing their company,  and I don't blame them.

Awkward.

A toast, to more successful auditions, and more experiences!

Being UNjealous

We all get jealous at one point or another - it's human nature.

I speak for myself and the industry I work in, sometimes it can be very difficult to watch other people succeed while you sit and wonder if and when you will also achieve your goals. In the back of our minds, we all know that different doors open for different people at different times. But even if we know it, do we believe it? Do we accept it? Do we embrace it? That is the challenge.

"What does he or she have that I don't? Why can't I do that? I'm just as good, if not better," are thoughts projected at siblings, friends, colleagues, even strangers!! I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "Pssh. I mean, they were aiiiiight, it wasn't like amazing."

Why am I being such a hater?!

Admittedly, there was a point in my life a few years ago when I let my jealousy get the best of me. I was beating myself up for every little thing and in turn projecting that resentment, self-hatred, -whatever negative word you want to use - onto others.

Then I read this quote and it really, really, really struck a chord with me.

"Jealousy is nothing but fear that you too will not achieve the goals you've set out for yourself."

Hmm. Now, where in that quote does it say anything about other people?

Nowhere.

Lemme break it down. Jealousy is FEAR. That YOU. Won't achieve YOUR goals. Your journey, your path, your experiences, your successes, your failures...do not interfere with anyone else's and vice versa. Someone else's outcomes doesn't take away the chances of yours. Isn't that a relief?

The way I like to envision it now is, hundreds of mountains next to each other. And you can see others climbing their mountains. And you might say, "Hey his mountain seems easier to climb, or her mountain is not as high as mine." But that's their mountain. And if you spend time focusing on their climb, they will only keep climbing higher, and where will you have gotten? We aren't climbing one giant mountain together. This isn't a competition, no need to scramble to the top. Everyone has a unique purpose and we can all co-exist, we can all achieve individual success together.

I read an article in Psychology Today recently that said, "The happiest people are the ones who are present when things go right for others - and whose own wins are regularly celebrated by their friends as well. What is precious and scarce is people who can truly share in others' joy and gains without envy."

So the next time a colleague shares great news on Facebook, try celebratin' instead of hatin'! I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't still sip on haterade, some days more than others, but lifting others up is way better than putting them - or worse, yourself - down.

And besides, haterade leaves a nasty aftertaste. I'd rather have a smoothie.

AMERICA! F YEAH!

Happy belated birthday, America!

I hope everyone enjoyed celebrating freedom, independence, and hot dogs.

I thought about writing many reasons why I love this country, but instead I kept thinking about things America seems to love, that I admittedly don't really care for.

So, thanks to my first amendment rights, I can and will exercise them here:

1. Fireworks: They are cool for like a second, then they're over and it's like, "Oh...okay then." I've never lit them myself, nor do I have any desire to. And I mistake the sound for gunshots a lot. Call me old-fashioned but I'd much rather watch stars in the sky do their thing.

2. Cheesecake: BLEGH! Why do we need to dedicate a whole factory to this?! There are much more delicious desserts!! Don't get me wrong, I love cheese and I love cake, but not together. (I also feel this way about peanut butter and chocolate - segregation!) I do like pumpkin cheesecake, but I like pumpkin flavored everything, so that doesn't really count.

3. Road Trips: Anyone who ever wants to drive across country with me, let me spare you the regret of inviting me along. I get car sick in about 20 minutes. I hate long drives. I have a tiny bladder and would have to pee probably every hour on the hour. I'm lactose intolerant and would not be able to live off of Dairy Queens. I will probably make you listen to Disney Pandora the entire time. I have a weird thing about hotels because I don't know how clean they are since I didn't clean them myself so I'll get no sleep worrying (also I've seen too many creepy murder movies involving motels) When I moved to LA, I shipped my car and flew just so I wouldn't have to drive. Maybe one day....

4. Drew Barrymore: Is she still America's sweetheart? Because, ew. Hit me up when it's Emma Stone.

5. Sappy animal youtube videos: I will never understand why people love these so much. Maybe it's because I've never owned a pet, but they just don't do anything for me. My best friends are obsessed with that popular video, "Christian the Lion" where this lion gets reunited with his trainer or something. They were all crying while I just questioned whose idea was it to have Whitney Houston playing in the background?! You want to make me cry? Youtube "Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt." Photo montages of their happier days (with Whitney Houston in the background), and I'll weep like a baby. THEY WERE PERFECT.

6. Beer: Never gonna like it, America. Sangria pong, anyone?

An Apple A Day

I have a bad habit of never wanting to throw away food I buy, even when it has passed the expiration date. One day I bought a bag of apples from Trader Joes (Am I the only person who thinks their produce is hit or miss?) and they were mealy in like, 2 days.

MEALY APPLES! The worst, right?

So, being torn between throwing them away and just eating them, I decided to instead make applesauce! And I've been making my own applesauce ever since. 

It's super easy to make, only takes 30 minutes total, and is WAY healthier than store bought applesauce with all their added crap. 

I'm not sure if anyone (who isn't an infant or elderly) is into applesauce, but here's the recipe anyway:

What you need:

4 apples

1 cup of water

1/2 a lemon

Cinnamon and agave (optional)

1. Peel apples, slice them, then chop them up into little pieces. 

2. Like so! Then put one cup of water in a pot, followed by the apples. Cover pot and cook apples on medium-low for 30 minutes (or until mushy)

3. Squeeze half a lemon (not shown in photo, everyone knows what a lemon looks like, right? If not, www.google.com) And, optional, add some agave and cinnamon for flavor!

4. Using the bottom of a glass, mash all the apples while still warm. Chill, and serve! Voila!

I mean, I'm no Julie or Julia, but this looks pretty great, doesn't it?? Bon Appetit!

BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMAND!

Guess who's bizzack?

It's me.

HI!

I started this blog a year ago and then a few months in completely abandoned it. Recently, (last night) I thought, "Why don't I start blogging again?"

Which brought me here. And so....here I am. TAKE TWO!

I don't have really anything to talk about today per say BUT I will attempt to write more consistently. So today is more of a declaration. A "Hey everyone, this is happening, so get ready" post.

But for the handful of you reading this, I will leave you with this:

When I found out Kim and Kanye were having a baby, I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it be so hilarious-dumb if they named their kid, South? As in South West?"

And then they named their kid North. (*facepalm)

Here are a few other fitting ideas for their celebrity baby name:

1. Key (This is a winner because it fits the infamous K-starting names)
2. South by South
3. Mid

And my personal favorite,

4. Wild Wild

See you tomorrow!! When I will have hopefully thought of something more interesting to talk about.

s.