I hope everyone enjoyed celebrating freedom, independence, and hot dogs.
I thought about writing many reasons why I love this country, but instead I kept thinking about things America seems to love, that I admittedly don't really care for.
So, thanks to my first amendment rights, I can and will exercise them here:
1. Fireworks: They are cool for like a second, then they're over and it's like, "Oh...okay then." I've never lit them myself, nor do I have any desire to. And I mistake the sound for gunshots a lot. Call me old-fashioned but I'd much rather watch stars in the sky do their thing.
2. Cheesecake: BLEGH! Why do we need to dedicate a whole factory to this?! There are much more delicious desserts!! Don't get me wrong, I love cheese and I love cake, but not together. (I also feel this way about peanut butter and chocolate - segregation!) I do like pumpkin cheesecake, but I like pumpkin flavored everything, so that doesn't really count.
3. Road Trips: Anyone who ever wants to drive across country with me, let me spare you the regret of inviting me along. I get car sick in about 20 minutes. I hate long drives. I have a tiny bladder and would have to pee probably every hour on the hour. I'm lactose intolerant and would not be able to live off of Dairy Queens. I will probably make you listen to Disney Pandora the entire time. I have a weird thing about hotels because I don't know how clean they are since I didn't clean them myself so I'll get no sleep worrying (also I've seen too many creepy murder movies involving motels) When I moved to LA, I shipped my car and flew just so I wouldn't have to drive. Maybe one day....
4. Drew Barrymore: Is she still America's sweetheart? Because, ew. Hit me up when it's Emma Stone.
5. Sappy animal youtube videos: I will never understand why people love these so much. Maybe it's because I've never owned a pet, but they just don't do anything for me. My best friends are obsessed with that popular video, "Christian the Lion" where this lion gets reunited with his trainer or something. They were all crying while I just questioned whose idea was it to have Whitney Houston playing in the background?! You want to make me cry? Youtube "Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt." Photo montages of their happier days (with Whitney Houston in the background), and I'll weep like a baby. THEY WERE PERFECT.
6. Beer: Never gonna like it, America. Sangria pong, anyone?
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