Letting Go

I am reading a book right now talks about how your ego can actually get in your way and lead you further from the things you want.

The author gives a list of ideas you need to learn to let go of FIRST before you can set clear intentions for yourself and start moving towards making them a reality.

I'm going to share the 3 ideas that resonated the most with me:

1. Let go of your need to win: "Ego loves to divide us up into winners and losers. The pursuit of winning is one that will backfire. Because ultimately, winning is impossible all of the time. Someone out there will be faster, luckier, younger, stronger, and smarter - and back you'll go to feeling worthless and insignificant."

I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that losing is NOT the opposite of winning because I, by nature, am fiercely competitive. It's hard to swallow that just because I don't get something I want, doesn't mean someone else "won" and I "lost." That perceptive makes me frustrated and discouraged. I had a mentor say it best, "You're Coke. And sometimes people want Coke, and that's great. But sometimes people want Pepsi. It's as simple as that. Today, they aren't buying what you're selling. But that doesn't mean they won't buy it tomorrow."All we can be accountable is performing our personal best in the given circumstances, and if you feel you aren't at your best one day, hey, tomorrow is a new day, with new circumstances to consider.

2. Let go of your need to have more: "The ego is never satisfied. No matter how much you achieve or acquire, it will insist that it isn't enough. You'll find yourself in a perpetual state of striving, and eliminate the possibility of arriving. Yet, you've already arrived, and how you choose to use this present moment in your life is your choice. Ironically, when you stop needing more, more of what you desire seems to arrive in your life."

Appreciate all that shows up. Create. And then let it go. I 100% agree with the notion of needing it less brings more of it into your life. The whole needing is less is the hard thing to work on though! We all want want want! I don't know how many times I've focused on what I needed versus what I already have. "I'm 25 and I still haven't ___" "Time is ticking, I NEED to ____" "By the time I'm 30, I WANT to ___" Putting all these deadlines on achievements is so incredibly stressful and puts you in a constant state of anxiety. It needs to happen now! No, it needs to happen when it's supposed to happen.

3. Let go of identifying yourself on the basis of your achievements: "Be grateful for the abilities you've been given, the motivation to achieve, and the stuff you've accumulated. But do not allow yourself to be defined by your achievements."

Well, this is certainly the hardest one for me! "You are not defined by your achievements" is something that needs to be taped to my mirror and repeated multiple times each morning! I was a straight-A student all my life (I did get one B in college History but in my defense it was an 8am class so I just slept. A B is still pretty good for sleeping through class the entire semester). I put in the work, I got an immediate result. That's how I functioned for years. You study, you get an A. Action-Outcome. Action-Outcome. Every single time I wanted something tangible, I went out for it and got it. THEN, I PURSUED ACTING. You put in the work, you put in the work, you put in the work. You wait, you wait, you wait. Hmm. My brain is confused. Where's my immediate result?! "I practiced this audition all night, why didn't I book it?" -might as well be taped to my mirror because I find myself saying that a lot. That's not how this business works. That's not how life works! It will never happen when you want it to happen. And that has been my constant struggle since I moved here 3 years ago, living by the mentality that I'm planting seeds, and seeds take time and to grow. There's a reason why people say patience is a virtue. And if immediate results is what I need, I should become a professional college student. I've got about 8 more years of my youthful looks before classmates start to question my real age.

It's not black and white. It's not win or lose. Pass or fail. Have and have nots. 

I leave you today with my favorite quote: "Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not, but remember what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."-Epicurus.

Have a great weekend.