Waiting For Results

Last year I wrote, produced and starred in my first short film. It was an ambitious endeavor, and would not have been made had it not been for the countless contributions -- both financially and through the involvement of cast + crew, 90% of who worked for free. I'd written sketch comedy before for Second City shows but a short film, something that was completely my own voice, brought all the nerves-good and bad. I felt vulnerable. I felt courageous. I learned a lot during the process.

But the most important thing I learned, I didn't actually learn until yesterday - almost a year later. 

I made this film to enter it into a diversity film festival. Encouraging diversity in TV and Film is something that is both so important and so necessary (Hello? #AllWhiteOscars2015?) and I thought, what a great way to get my name out there by submitting my work, as an ethnic woman writing comedy. The festival chose 8 finalists from over 1700 submissions, and the best actor/actress would win a one year talent holding deal with NBC. From Friends to 30 Rock, you could imagine my over-eagerness to be a part of NBC. I gave my producers the deadline, we finished the film 48 hours before, I clicked "submit" and never looked back!

Well, I wish I could say I never looked back. 

In the time between the day I submitted the film and the day they notified me of the film's status, I went down a rabbit hole of thoughts. I checked every morning to see if, "just in case they're notifying us early!" I started looking at flights for when I would be asked to go New York and present the film, I thought about getting recognized by NBC and my life changing. I allowed myself to get carried away, and I don't completely blame myself for that. I was happy! I felt that I had a great shot and was proud of my little film and all the work I put into it. 

I got notification that I was unfortunately not one of the eight films chosen about a month later. And all of a sudden, everything that I had felt - all the joy and excitement - was immediately replaced with shame and disappointment. I was no longer proud of the film, I resented it. I thought my work wasn't good enough, and thus, I wasn't good enough. I felt as though I'd let down everyone who worked on it and moreover, everyone who donated to my campaign. I thought I wasn't funny,  I thought I wasn't a good writer, nor a good actor, and I thought, "maybe, hopefully, if I hide this failure under the rug, no one will ask me about it and no one will remember."

This might sound overdramatic, but I know there are actors and filmmakers that completely understand these feelings. To be so high and then to be so low. To feel so confident and to feel so foolish. 

But to call the film a failure? Why? Where did I fail, exactly? I wrote something I thought was honest, funny, and from my point of view. I got to hire and work with my friends, goofing around for 12 hours making a movie. My movie. 

Isn't the point of being a creative to create? Don't they tell us over and over again that it's not about the destination, but the journey? Where in the journey did I allow myself to be consumed with others' stamp of approval? 

Why do I often find myself waiting for and focused on the results?

We work in a business, by nature, that is propelled by validation. Where we need the network's approval before getting cast, where a critic's review can make or break a career, and where the cherished Oscar is the pinnacle of achievement, the dream of all the dreams. That is why so many people create their own work, so they can call the shots and feel in control of their careers. To give themselves the chance they aren't getting and believe they deserve. 

To do that, take control and then relinquish it completely to others' acceptance - or in this case, rejection - that is where I failed. 

Why am I and my work only of worth when someone else says so, more importantly why am I deeming their opinions more valuable than my own? Beating myself up, letting it crush me. Creating these elaborate and often untrue stories as to why it wasn't me. It's not like they emailed me and said, "Your film was terrible and a waste of time." It was simply, we had many submissions, unfortunately yours wasn't chosen but thank you so much and better luck next time. The same way I look at award shows and think, how can you judge one performance against another they were all good in their own way - I must, we must, learn to apply to our own work. Art is subjective. I simply was not one of the 8 chosen. Technically, I shared that company with 1691 other submitted films. 

Yesterday, my film was screened amongst other short films at the Laemmle Theater. It was the first time I had watched it since getting the rejection letter, and I shrunk down in my seat during the opening credits. To my surprise and delight, the film was a hit. It received big laughs and even bigger applause. When the screening was over, people came up to me and hadn't realized I also wrote it. I was asked, "what's your next project?" and given info from people wanting to get involved. It was more well-received than I could have ever imagined. 

Here's an email my producer sent me today:

When the film was over, I really felt so many emotions. I felt embarrassed at myself for allowing myself to judge myself so harshly. I felt overwhelmed watching the end credits naming everyone who, in being a part of this film, had declared their belief in me. I felt overjoyed that I had written a film, shot it, and was watching my face, my story, in an actual movie theater. 

I try very hard to always be optimistic and grateful for the opportunity to do this work. I am not good at being cynical or negative, but I am not perfect. But "experience is what you get when you don't get what you wanted," and last night I made myself reflect on the experience. 

What I learned is, we should always value ourselves and our voices. We should cherish the compliments of our peers. We should do work that challenges us and makes us grow as artists and as humans. And we should always create. For the sake of creating. 

I look forward to my next project, whatever that may be. But for now, I'll cherish this photo I took yesterday, sitting in a movie theater, watching myself on the screen.

Be Our Guest

Taking a week off acting-related posts to share a recent experience many friends have been asking me about.

Two months ago for my 27th birthday, I ate at the new Be Our Guest restaurant at Disneyworld. It's only been open for a year and a half and is booked out six months in advance. 

Because God loves me, we completely lucked out and got a reservation because there was a site glitch when making original reservations that changed our 7pm reservation for four to a 5pm reservation for two. Disney, being ever so accommodating, acknowledged the mistake on their end, and that plus my tears got us a Sunday dinner reservation at 4pm. 

I'm happy to share a detailed description from the moment I walked in to the moment I walked out. Let me just preface this with I cried about four different times during the entire dinner. Beauty and the Beast is my favorite of all Disney movies and it is also the best Disney movie and YES that is me being objective. It's the first animated movie to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar, the music is incredible, and it's got the hottest villain. Yet, as far as merchandising and Park real estate goes, it's never been as prominent as other movies. Kindaaaa bullshit. UNTIL NOW!!!!!!! 

Okay. Without further ado -

Be.

Our.

Guest.

When you walk up to Beast's Castle, there is a bridge you cross to the front gates. These gates are closed unless you have a reservation. Gargoyles line the bridge and mann the front door. 

When it is time for your reservation, you pass the gates to the front courtyard where you are greeted with all the servers for the evening. They walk out in a line, the leader holding Lumiere (the candlestick) and a scroll. 

I wasn't able to catch the entire thing but I did get the last snippet of the before dinner speech. It went a little something like, "The Master welcomes you to his castle. We invite you to relax, let us pull up a chair, while the dining room proudly presents your dinner." Actual lines from the movie! 

Each waiter then calls out the name of their assigned party and takes them to their table. 

Upon entering the restaurant, I got super overwhelmed and cried. IT'S JUST SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL YOU GUYS!!! I mean, it looks EXACTLY like the movie!!!! 

You have the option of dining in one of three rooms, the ballroom, the library room, or the west wing - "it's (not) forbidden!" We ate in the ballroom by the windows, with actual falling snow!!!

As you can see by the video, the music played is all instrumental from the film, and the restaurant is more fine dining than the kitschy cafes Disney tends to offer. Three course meals and no dancing characters swarming your table for you to get autographs from, it's actually not a place I believe many children would have fun. But the child at heart? Oh hell yes.

The napkin is a rose!!!! DETAILS!!!!

The Ballroom dining room

For my appetizer I had a salad trio, for my entree, ratatouille - which was delicious! For dessert, they bring out an array of options, just like in the movie. But of course, regardless of how amazing the other desserts looked and sounded, I couldn't leave without, "trying the gray stuff." And yes, it's delicious!

Oreo brownie cake with a gray chocolate mousse and pearls on top. 

After dinner you're allowed to walk around to the other rooms. The West Wing was darker and had ripped paintings, just like in the movie. Of course the enchanted rose is also there in its glass case, and yes the petals do fall.

The West Wing dining room

On your way out you're allowed to meet the Beast! Which was very exciting because he was probably six and a half feet tall. And by he I mean the giant person inside the costume, I'm guessing an Orlando Magic player. I of course couldn't be like everyone else and just shake his hand so I curtsied as Belle did Pre-Tale As Old As Time, to which he bowed, took my hand, and spun me around. Swoon!

It was all very magical, indeed. 

Workshops: Do or Don't? + Do's and Don'ts

"This is for educational purposes only and participating does not guarantee you of work."

Ah, workshops. Paying to meet and perform in front of a casting director.

I know many actors who downright refuse to do workshops. I was one of them. The thought of having to pay to meet casting instead of auditioning for them - which costs nothing - kind of sucked. But during the time I was contemplating the "suckiness" of the situation, I had zero auditions and zero credits. I didn't even have an agent who could get me an audition even if I wanted one. (and believe me, did I want one!) So, 48 hours and 40 bucks later, I took my first workshop in 2012.

Fast forward to today -- I've completed a record-breaking 9 workshops THIS MONTH. (Disclaimer: I've never done this many in that short span of time before, so you can go ahead and call me crazy)

Because I've done my research, met quite a few offices, and booked two roles in a year (yes, both through workshops) I thought I would compile some tips for fellow actors who are looking to maybe do a workshop but don't know where to go or how to stand out.

WORKSHOPS: Do or Don't? 

My answer: DO, only if you're going to kill it! 

I understand we all get impatient in our careers and want things to happen for us here and now, but what is the point of meeting a casting office before you're ready? These are people who really could potentially give you a job down the line, and you are basically paying them to not hire you. Think about it: From around 10am-6pm, they audition maybe 100-200 actors a day for their TV shows, then they come to a workshop and see 20 more actors audition. That's a lot of faces! You want to stand out in the best way possible. Not by being underprepared, on book, or lacking confidence. You have about 4 minutes to make an impression, use it wisely.

So...how do you kill it? 

Well, I don't know how you personally define "killing it,"but here are some do's and don'ts that have definitely helped me along the way:

1. Be smart & selective about the workshops you do!

Do you "fit the world" of the the television show that this office casts? BE OBJECTIVE. Yes, of course I'm dying to be to be Lady Sara on Downton Abbey but chances I book that show are very slim so I wouldn't go in for that office, you get me? Choose shows and thus offices that you could actually see yourself on. With that being said...

2. Actively watch TV!! A lot of it.

Watching TV all day isn't being lazy. We're actors, it's our job to know what is out there, which networks are making which shows, which shows are getting cancelled and which got picked up for another season, and of course, which offices are casting those shows. How do you know if you fit in the world of the show if you don't watch the show?! And by actively watching, I mean, studying the storylines, pacing, and tone of the show as well. The way I watch Veep is very different than the way I watch The Food Network. Let's face it, we aren't going to be right for every show. Veronica Collins-Rooney, who casts Once Upon A Time, says she specifically casts actors who don't look too "LA or NY," they have to look like they fit in a fantasy world so that the show is believable. A show like Scandal moves at a very fast pace, there is no time to show you can do long dramatic pauses. Also, keep in mind shows that have been around for a while like Criminal Minds and Grey's Anatomy need new faces! So, that's a good strategy to use when deciding which workshops to tackle first.

3. Castingabout.com is your friend.

Casting About is a site that tells you every casting director, what they are currently casting, and how many episodes will be in their season. I use this site every single time before deciding whether or not to spend money on a workshop. I personally don't like meeting casting directors when their shows are on hiatus (meaning they are on break until the next season.) I like being in front of them while their shows are casting because I stay fresher on their minds. Specifically, I like to meet someone when they have just begun to cast again--the more episodes there are, the more opportunities there are for you. I remember meeting Christy Faison while she casting the last season of The Newsroom. At the time we met, she was casting episode 5. Guess how many episodes there are in the last season of The Newsroom? SIX. I was too late and super bummed because I love that show. But that's all in part of doing your research! Catch them early on while there are still plenty of episodes available. Casting About is also tells you where the show shoots. Some shows that shoot in NY or Vancouver cast their smaller co-star roles in those cities, because it's just easier and cheaper for them to do so. If you're still building co-star roles on your resume, maybe look for a show that solely casts in LA, and then work your way up. If you're into sending postcards to offices, this site also gives their addresses. It's fairly inexpensive to join and very useful to actors: Casting About

4. Don't pass up on an associate! 

Many are under the impression that meeting a casting associate is pointless because they don't have as much say as the head director. That is very far from true. Some casting directors don't even do workshops, so if you want to get into their office, you'll have to get through their associates. Casting associates are the right-hand person to casting directors and they are trusted for their judgment and eye for talent. Otherwise, they probably wouldn't have a job. And remember, today's associates are tomorrow's head of casting. If you don't believe me, check out this post -Jamie Castro Casting- by the wonderful Jamie Castro, associate to Linda Lowy, John Brace, and Will Stewart AKA the casting geniuses behind Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away With Murder. She prides herself on bringing in students from workshops and booking them! (Do you see a familiar name in the post?)

5. Do choose sides that will BEST showcase YOU!

If you're seeing the office of Parks and Recreation, best to not bring in a scene from Sophie's Choice. Vice versa, if you're targeting a procedural show like CSI, maybe don't perform your stand up routine. Remember, you're trying to fit the world of their show, so show them you fit in. Some offices bring in their own scenes for this reason, but if they leave it up to you, be smart about what you're bringing to perform. Personally, I like bringing in scenes from less watched shows or pilots that never got picked up so that casting doesn't have a point of reference or comparison. Meaning, if you bring in a scene from Friends, (which I admit I probably would make an excellent Monica) chances are THEY ARE GOING TO KNOW IT'S FROM FRIENDS. That was an iconic show. And what are they going to think while you're performing your scene? How your interpretation of "Phoebe" will never be as good as Lisa Kudrow's and that's why she has an Emmy and you don't.


Now, there are many places to take workshops around town but here are the three places I can refer:

Actors Key
    Why I like it - Not too pricey, they bring in great offices, free and easy parking, and you can bring in your own scenes. Also, a lot of casting offices are exclusive only to Actors Key, and they have two locations, one in Burbank and one on the West side.

ActNow 
   Why I like it - Multiple week workshops, you see the same casting director for 2-4 weeks instead of one night, which helps you build a stronger relationship and also keeps you fresh in their minds for longer. Also they screen their actors before letting them join the studio so it's not a bunch of wackos, and they assign you a "consultant" to send you workshops you're right for. Also, free parking garage!

ActorsLink
   Why I like it - This is Scott David's studio, he also brings in great offices. I like how you can sign up for a time slot ahead of time so you don't have to sit around waiting to audition. And they frequently advertise discounts and package deals through their Twitter/FB pages.


Are you auditioning as much as you'd like to be? Would you be meeting these offices otherwise? Then, what do you have to lose, really? If you're strategic about it, workshops can be a great place to put your face and name out there. Don't sit idly waiting for the phone to ring. Better to be proactive in your career, so that when those opportunities DO come along, you will be ready for them.

Working with the star of Scandal

Chances are if you're reading this, you more-than-likely know that I recently worked on an episode of one my FAVORITE shows, Scandal.

I did not have a big role, in fact I said one line and my name was, "Female Staffer." If you blinked during, Ep. 402 "The State of The Union" you maybe missed me. But, let's be real, I would have gladly stood in the background as "Thing #8" to be on that show, and more importantly, I was fortunate enough to work with Kerry Washington.



And I love Kerry Washington.




Exhibit A: My 2014 Vision Board, with KW herself front and center.

Please also notice on Exhibit A, my 2014 goal list. Another brilliant woman I have been dying to work with, the one and only Shonda Rhimes. #ShondaLand #QueenofABC #TGIT

So, I've noticed the go-to questions any person has when a friend/colleague has just worked with a famous actor, is, "OMG HOW WERE THEY? WERE THEY NICE? WERE THEY EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED AND MORE?!"

Well, I can officially answer that question for you.

Kerry Washington is hands down, the kindest, most gracious, generous actor I've ever met.

So I auditioned for the role on a Monday and found out Friday I got it. I still didn't know who my scene was with though, because, if you watch Scandal, everything is very hush hush, can't have any leaks (Otherwise Olivia Pope would need to HANDLE it!) So, I waited for the script to find out. And I got incredibly lucky in that my scene was not only with her, but also with Tony Goldwyn (Fitz!) and Darby Stanchfield (Abby!)

I got to set after hair and makeup and was waiting for them to arrive. And when they did, in came Kerry walking right up to me, and said, "Are you our staffer? I'm Kerry! Nice to meet you!" In one handshake, she eased my nerves. She made me feel important and necessary and deserving to be there. Both Tony and Darby introduced themselves in the same genuine fashion, and I don't know if it's the actors themselves, or Shonda Rhimes who sets that tone for her casts to be welcoming to all actors who work on the show, but whoever it is, I felt very grateful to be there, collaborating with fellow creatives to make a great episode of TV.

The 8 hours I was on set was such an incredible learning experience. I watched Kerry talk to her fellow stars in between takes, asking if she was giving them what they needed, I watched our director give them adjustments and ideas for different takes and they took the notes, without a bit of ego, pride, or attitude. During downtime, Abby worked on lines for a huge monologue she had to do later, she was diligent in her work ethic. Tony joked around with the crew and extras, no hint of "don't look at me" BS you sometimes hear about with actors. Everyone was having fun but also took their jobs very seriously, were accountable for themselves but also each other.

There was a moment I thought I messed up Darby's line and I panicked and apologized, and she looked at me and said, "That wasn't you, you were perfect."

When I was wrapped for the evening, I thanked Darby and Tony for being so kind, and contemplated going up to Kerry. And I thought, well, should I never get to work with her again, I want her to know how much today meant to me, both as an actor and a true avid fan of the show.

I quickly went up to her and said, "I just want you to know, I'm such a huge fan of the show and you. You're on my actor vision board! This was incredible, thank you."

And I'll never forget what she said.

"Sara, thank you sooo much for sharing that with me! You were so great, you anchored me in that scene. So so wonderful to work with you."

I cried.

Not in front of her! I made it to my car and then burst into tears naturally. She in no way had to say what she did. She didn't owe me anything. She could have politely smiled and I would have been fine with that too. But, from the moment we shook hands, she understood that I was a fellow artist, a kindred spirit, a colleague. She understood that I'm working hard to be in her place someday.

And should I be so lucky to be in her place someday, I know exactly how to treat the business, treat the craft, and treat others.

"You've gained weight!"

This Saturday, I had my Farsi lessons, as I'm trying to learn the language.

The first thing out of my tutor's mouth was, "Hi, you've gained weight!"

UM.

"Oh...really?"

"Yes."

She probably saw the horror/shock/disdain in my face because she quickly tried to coat it with, "It's okay. You look healthy."

Healthy. I can't say I even remember how or when I was brainwashed to associate that term with feelings of guilt, paranoia, and self-consciousness. When did being a healthy woman become a negative thing?

But lo and behold, I sat there, for the rest of my 90 minute lesson, not able to concentrate on a damn thing she was saying.

When did I gain weight? 

Should I tell her maybe I gained it because my mother has been very ill and I had to go home for a while to take care of her?
Or that my father's brother recently died of cancer and I've been very stressed?
Or that it might be from my multiple medications? 
Or that maybe I've been eating more froyo because it's summer and I can walk to a Yogurtland?

Where did I gain weight? 

My stomach? *Grips stomach
My thighs? *Grips thighs
My arms? *Jiggles arms to check for "tricep" fat
Oh God, my face?! 

While she was teaching me how to say, "No I don't like to read. I am married. How is your aunt?" All I could repeat was, "I'M FAT. "I'M FAT." "HOW DO YOU SAY I'M FAT IN FARSI?!"

I proceeded my day with frustration, tears, and starving myself. I asked everyone at work, "Please be honest, have I gained weight?" I stared at myself for 30 minutes in the mirror, poking and prodding. And I, admittedly, frantically did squats in my shower that evening.

Let's look at some facts:

FACT: This was only the second time I'd seen that woman in my life.
FACT: I was wearing XS pants when she gave me the news.
FACT: She did not mean it in a judgmental way, and I KNEW that. I proceeded to take it in such a way that it ruined me for the remainder of the day, and honestly, that's on me, not her.

If I've gained weight, then I have. And if I haven't gained weight, then I haven't. And it's so simple to look at another woman and say, "They are comfortable in their own skin and that is all that matters." I feel that way about many friends and actresses I look up to. If this had been a friend who had received this news, I would be the first to say, "Screw that woman, you're beautiful, let's go find the nearest slice of pie." Why are we not that friend to ourselves?

Society and the media already put an incredible amount of pressure on women to fit a certain mold, look a certain way. And maybe because I'm in the entertainment industry, I feel that pressure to the tenth degree. But I wanted to share this experience with others because I am ashamed. Not ashamed at the possibility that I have put on a few pounds or whatever, I am ashamed at my reaction, my overreaction, to that. 

Because, frankly, I should know better.

I should know better because, admittedly, I sadly spent an entire summer eating nothing but a small bowl of rice and a can of Coke, while doing 1000 sit-ups daily. It was the summer between middle school and high school and I dropped to an unhealthy 83 pounds, just to come back to school more appealing to boys who had taunted me for crushing on them the year before. If I hadn't made the volleyball team and been required to have more strength, energy, and meat on my bones, I'm not sure where that madness would have led me.

I should know better because at my heaviest, I have been 129 pounds. And there are women who deal with obesity and actual weight issues who probably fucking wish they could be 129 pounds and I sound like a completely ignorant moron.

I should know better because I consider myself a strong woman, who applauds, uplifts, and encourages the endeavors of like-minded women, and my actions/thoughts/behavior towards myself that day did not reflect those of such.

I went to a new spin class the following morning, where the students were all women, and the teacher was so incredibly positive and just shouting affirmations at us to repeat back while we worked out.

"You're the author of your own book!"
"You're the captain of your own ship!"
"Do not let ANYONE, including YOURSELF, make you believe otherwise!"
"Tell that little voice who's egging you on, bringing you down, TO SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"You.Are.The.Fucking.Shit!"

It might have been the endorphins, but man, I found myself, screaming "I'm the fucking shit!" while on that 45 minute bike ride, and I hopped off that bike feeling great, feeling confident, feeling ME.

I took a photo afterwards to remind me to tell myself to, "shut the hell up" when that negative voice wants to feed off little remarks and puny thoughts, and replace it with, "You rock that bod, sista!" (Or something a little less cheesy)

Listen, us women gotta have our backs -- each other's and our own. 

Cheers to being mentally, emotionally, and physically, HEALTHY.

Breaking Sad

Saying goodbye to your favorite show is hard.

Saying goodbye to Breaking Bad, torture.

The cries will be heard around the nation as the fates of Walt, Jesse, and Skylar are revealed. "WHO IS THE RICIN FOR?!!?!?!?" has been the question on my mind for weeks. Tonight, my question is answered, although I don't think I'm ready to know.

Breaking Bad had some of the best performances on television to date. I don't think anyone would disagree with that. Complex characters that you hate one week, love another week, hate to love a third, and love to hate the next. Only incredible writing and incredible acting can attribute to that. And even though the show is ending, Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul can win Emmys for Breaking Bad for years to come and I would be 100% okay with that. "But it's 2036!" Still okay.

I wanted to share the auditions that landed these actors the parts. I was messing around on Youtube and found them and thought they were so cool!! Check them out below, BITCH.


Aaron Paul:
Aaron Paul Audition - Jesse Pinkman

Anna Gunn:
Anna Gunn Audition - Skylar White

Dean Norris:
Dean Norris Audition - Hank Schrader

This has been floating around Facebook recently and I absolutely love it. Advice to aspiring actors, from the man himself at the Oscars. 

Bryan Cranston's Advice to Actors

If you're one of the minority who is indifferent towards Breaking Bad, I only have one thing to say to you. Tread lightly.

Ma and Pa in Hollywood

Last Christmas, (I want very badly to sing "I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away...") Ahem, LAST CHRISTMAS, I surprised my parents with a trip to California. I glued their flight info to the back of a Los Angeles postcard and wrapped it up in a small box and fast forward 9 months later, they came to visit me, and see California, for the very first time.

My parents are incredibly hardworking and only travel when a relative has passed so I thought, why not let them travel for a happy occasion? My birthday! They were here all last week and I'm going to talk about some of our adventures.

First of all, those two are a hilarious pair. I watch them interact for five minutes and it completely makes sense why I've chosen to pursue television comedy. Those two are as sitcom-y as it gets.

For example:

Dad: "One day I'm going to throw everything away and just enjoy life. I'm going to throw out my phone, my watch,--"
Mom: "Your wife."

Or this gem:

Dad: 'Paty, my jeans aren't fitting. I think I'm getting fat again."
Mom: "...again?"

Set these two up in front of an audience and laugh track and they'll produce comedy gold!


So, I pick them up from the airport and my mother and I scream and jump and hug each other, doing a little dance in the passenger pick up driveway. My father asks me if I've tried the pretzels on Southwest Airlines, because, "they're very good." I say yes I've had them. Then, he gives me a bag. I tell him I don't want it. He makes me take it anyway because, "they're very good!" Hello, dad.

I take them to a cute cafe and they stop and stare at a tree. They are enamored by this tree! They take pictures of it, they take pictures in front of it, they are loving everything about this tree. Then dad tells me I should like the tree more because, "nothing compares to nature." Guys, this tree was in front of a Citibank. My parents were like this the whole trip! Stopping to look at trees and flowers and admiring the mountains in the distance, constantly raving about the weather and its effect on their moods.

I found their sense of wonder about everything Los Angeles so child-like and amusing, but honestly it was a much needed good experience for me too. Sometimes you get so caught up in your daily routine that you forget to see the beauty around you. And while sitting in traffic, it's easy to scream out, "LA YOU ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT" but man, LA is a stunner of a city. And for the first time in a very long time, I was able to see the city through first-time eyes and really appreciate my surroundings.

So after brunch and tree-gazing, they came to my apartment and we watched Planet Earth. Yes, the documentary. This wasn't part of my very detailed hourly itinerary but they looked so comfy and content that I let it go.

Here they are lounging and watching some Penguins. 

For dinner we went to Persian food and my dad, who is the pickiest and most judgmental of restaurant eaters, said it was the best kabobs he's had outside of Iran. SARA FOR THE WIN!!!

My dad waits until I says "three!" and sucks in his belly. Mom just cheeses hard.

The next day we were off to Santa Barbara! It could not have been a more perfect day. We went to the historic courthouse to see views of the city, and my dad tried to take maybe 15 photos of us. Some were too dark, some too bright, and the rest my mother had her eyes closed in. She does that ALL.THE.TIME. It's like she hears, "1, 2, 3!" and on 3 instead of smiling she closes her eyes.

Take one: Mom's eyes are closed.

Take two: Mom's eyes are closed again. Dad looks increasingly over it.

Take three: Success! 

My mom wants to go to the historic Santa Barbara Mission so she can get her Jesus on, and while her and I are taking pictures, my dad is loudly saying how he doesn't believe in organized religion, in front of all the other tourists. So my mom and I walk farther ahead and take more photos, then dad is nowhere to be found. I find him outside EATING LEAVES. I am not joking. He claimed they were the same grape leaves from his village and tried to get all of us to eat some. I take that as a hint that maybe it's time for lunch.

After lunch we have a lovely stroll at the pier and go to a Farmers Market! My parents were loving it! They were loving it so much that they bought way too much produce for people who were leaving back to Texas in 48 hours. I'm talking grapes, plums, tomatoes, cucumbers, a melon, figs....and almost some mint, except the vendor didn't give my dad a big enough free sample and my dad said he wasn't generous and refused to buy from him. Again, mom and I walk away quickly. We drive back to LA and I make dinner for us while they sit on my balcony and drink wine. I can't explain how nice it was for me to just watch them relax. Another great day.

Wednesday we go to The Getty! I'd never been myself so it was really fun for me too! Of course the nature freaks obsessed over the architectural gardens and my mom wanted photos of every flower. Except my dad forgot to charge the camera so my mom had to use her new touch screen phone. Which I probably laughed at for a solid 5 minutes because she's still keeps the plastic cover on her screen because it labels all her buttons. So we take photos then go inside to see the art, at which point my father is over it. He loudly (I don't think he realizes how loud he is in public) says, "If you paid me a million bucks I wouldn't work here. It's SO BORING," right as we pass a couple of employees. So, on cue, I walk swiftly away once again. I find my mother in front of the Virgin Mary in the Saints Exhibit and my dad asks if she wants a photo, "with her best friend." After the words, "bored" and "boring" come out of my dad's mouth five more times, I suggest we leave. We go back outside and he makes me take photos of a cactus that he finds super fascinating.

Me and Ma at the Getty.

My dad kept doing this weird peace sign thing...

Cactus.

We leave the Getty and have a really nice picnic lunch in Beverly Hills, then drive through the city, up to the Hollywood sign, and go to Village Pizza for dinner. Then for dessert, PINKBERRY! Which they absolutely loved. I mean, who doesn't love Pinkberry though?

On Thursday was my birthday, we went to have breakfast at Hugo's, where my mom and I split almond pancakes! YUM. And they put a little candle in my pancakes! Then the waitress brought out a vegan passion fruit ice cream with another candle. Ice Cream at 9 in the morning? YES PLEASE. It was fun to hear my parents talk about me being born, how my mother was in labor for quite a while, how I was born with way too much hair for a newborn (that actually makes a lot of sense to me now) and how she craved a bunch of sweets while being pregnant with me (also makes a lot of sense. See: ice cream at 9am)

ICE CREAM!!!!! Also, check out my cat hat!!

Then I took them to Hollywood because as grimy as it is to us who live here, tourists love that shit. My mom squealed at every actor in costume on Hollywood Blvd, "Mickey Mouse, Sarita! Minnie Mouse! Look, Marilyn Monroe! Un robot!" While my dad asked if the woman dressed as a Playboy Bunny was a prostitute. My dad put his feet in Robert De Niro's feet and said, "We have the same size shoes, maybe I could be an actor too." Uh huh. Then they bought some souvenirs and it was time for me to take them to the airport. A wonderful trip.

I've cried a lot this weekend, and sat outside on my balcony just like they did. I got used to them being here, and it was hard to see them leave, mainly because I don't know the next time they'll be able to come visit again. I, like a lot of people, left the house at age 18 and only come back home for holidays, thus I haven't spent much time with them as an adult. Last week, they felt more like friends. And just being who they are, they teach me so much about love and life.  They've been married for 27 years and I found them giggling multiple times at their inside jokes, just like pals.

I mean, how cute are they?

This photo is everything.

They flip every negative into a positive, they see beauty in everything. They're grateful for every experience. They know what matters in life - health, happiness, and quality time spent with loved ones. They could have sat on my balcony all week and been content. No demands, no complaints, just over the moon to be spending time with their oldest child.

And for that, I am grateful to have them.

love.